Water or fire? You pick.

A category 4 hurricane headed straight for your city.
Act of God.

Making the responsible decision to flee the city by bus to survive.
God bless you.

On the way, the bus screeching to a halt, then blasting into a raging inferno killing nearly everyone.

damn the luck

Hair today, DEAD tomorrow.

If there were a human hair protruding from the end of your next cigarette, would you actually bother to remove it?

Ms. NB. Goo’s 5 questions.

1) If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it,
how many hippies cry?

2) You’re at heavens gate. St. Peter tells you that you will burn in Hell for an eternity unless you donate 1 pint of blood to the local Reverse Vampire Society. No clinic for you though. He hands you a magical Exacto Knife. Where do you cut?

3) Somehow, you acquire 15 minutes of fame and are granted 10 seconds to say something inspiring to the entire world. You have written down 11 words. What are they?

4) You have created a truth serum from incense ashes, tequila and Gracie pee cakes, but only have one dose. Who do you give it to, and why?

5) You’re on a plane headed for a weekend vacation in sunny Crapville USA. The pilot informs you that both engines have failed and the plane is about to plow 90 degrees into a church parking lot. Your cell phone works, you have high speed internet service, you have Sims 2 on your PSP and a 60 ounce flask of premixed dirty martinis, (with extra olives), in your bloomers. What do you do?

Want to play?
The Official Interview Game Rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below asking to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Followed by demon

A truly amazing thing happened to me this past Sunday. Amazing…..not because of what I found, or what it meant to me when I first acquired it, or even that somehow, it is back in my possession after so long. Amazing, because this stupid little piece of plastic has survived 20 years……… traveling through 6 different residences, probably dozens of boxes, jean pockets, washers and dryers, the dogs mouth, and shortly after probably the dog's ass…..….who knows? The following is the e-mail I sent to my sis….

So, this kind of freaked me out.....and is STILL freaking me out........This story might be long… with a small point at the end… you know, like our cousins head….HA!
When I was 15 years old I went to see Kiss in concert at Freedom Hall. Mom and Dad drove me and a friend of mine down at noon for a 9pm concert......this was KISS! A band I had worshiped since I was 9........ and more importantly, I was going to see my all time idol.....IN person....the demon himself…….up close and right there in my fucking face MAN!!!!... (sorry, flashback there)...Gene Simmons! Notice we got there 8 hours early... (yes we were first in line and in the FIRST ROW!) I remember wishing a flame geyser would torch Queensryche so we could get to the main attraction... When it finally came time.....House lights cued......fade to black, in 3, 2, 1….. my ears bleeding.......mainly from my own screams......Kiss came out and Blew the roof off of the place......... I noticed Gene, (5 feet out and 6 feet up from me), grabbing guitar picks from his mike stand and tossing them out to the crowd......(bored yet?....I'm getting to the point).......so towards the end of the show, Gene blasts out with my all time favorite song of his, God of Thunder, (again, I was 15, stop laughing), He ended the song with a typical incoherent scream, my face half melting, he reaches down, grabs a pick, and I swear to Alah, looks down right at me, smiles.....AIMS……. and spins it to me like a frisbee.......which I caught like a chipmunk in a bear trap, bashing every face in my way. Luckily it was the last song, because you would have thought I had just inherited the Earth.......Giddy like a fag, the concert ends...... we go home.......
I kept the pick guarded like the Dead Sea Scrolls...... (bored yet? asspunch. ) About 2 months later after showing it off to everyone in the free world.....I lost it...... and never saw it again..... so let’s do the math.... I was 15 at the time.... 1984.... 20+ YEARS AGO.....................

I found the fucking thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, I was cleaning out my attic, combined some stuff and threw down all the empty boxes… started to break them down for the garbage. When ripping apart one special little box, I see something fall to the garage floor. I look down to see a guitar pick. My first instinct was, “how in the hell did my pick get out here”…..then I reached down to see a blank... black guitar pick, thinking, “this isn’t mine…. cool, I have an extra pick!” When I turned it over to see the name “Gene” on the front and an outline of his eye paint, I almost fudged my huggies. What a flashback! I didn’t remember one second of this, until I turned over that tiny piece of plastic. BLAM!!!! What a rush.....
I had hair-band-tunnel-vision…… I just sat there and relived everything you just read...……relived what now would be translated to a true living hell. Seeing Kiss “live” now is like seeing the Rolling Stones “live” now…..We were done with you guys “live” 15 years ago. I can't believe they are still "alive" to be honest.
DIE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, the point is… Gene Simmons threw me a guitar pick at a concert in 1984, which I caught……. but then lost it 2 months later. And then found it 20 years after that. I rule you blow

Reerry annoying preese.......

A buddy of mine, Anthony, bought me lunch the other day for giving him a pc for his church. I figure it should keep me from an eternity in Hell….It couldn’t hurt... right?
He informed me that Mac, another friend from work and a new intern would be joining us. Anthony and I got there first so we get a table in the non smoking section for 4. They show up and motion us to sit on the other side of the room; I motion back, "we already have a table, so sit your asses down." Mac motions again…… so.. to get lunch over with, we pick up our utensils and drinks and follow them to the other side of the room. I say to Mac, “I had a table for 4 over there" (Mac)………”Well this is the smoking section”. I fire back, “you’re kidding…I’m not sitting in the smoking section.” Then this wonderful intern says: "But I smoke". (Brain now pulsing with rage), "SO! I don't, and neither does Anthony or Mac." She was frozen like I told her that her dog had died. To get lunch over with, I immediately smile with my usual charm and move on like it was a joke. Ugh, whatever i'll eat like a garbage disposal and finish before she lights up. Plate one: (Chinese buffet)…I devoured 5 crab rangoons, some shrimp noodle crap and some sushi. Jumped up to get plate 2 down before Ms. “Jittery without nicotine” lights up. I couldn't even get the first piece of egg roll down and I here “click, click”, and look up to the horror of her sparking a cancer stick. I clearly had a mound of food enough to feed the homeless for a month. I continue eating until the refreshing aroma of DEATH reaches my nostrils. Then immediately push my plate away, wipe my mouth and resist the urge to crack her forehead with the soy sauce bowl. She says "Oh did I ruin your meal"? I said, "No, I was almost finished anyway, and we ARE in the smoking section",(again a mound of fucking food I had barely touched on my plate), so 5 minutes goes by and everyone else finishes she proceeds to light up again. Anthony and I just got up and left. 5 fucking minutes and I would have been done with plate 2....And what i will never understand is all the effort put in to trying to direct nearly weightless smoke in an air-conditioned room by waving your arms like a dumbshit…....Like she is directing traffic on the fucking Audubon. Holding the cig waaay out....To me it looks like she is trying to fly with one arm, because the other arm is somehow stiffened by the cigarette as if rigor mortis has set in….I guess she should get used to it……………..THAT DOES NO GOOD WHEN YOU EXHALE OVER THE MOTHER FUCKING TABLE YOU DIRTY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!! Smoke if you want, but don’t be a jackass.