Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Heywujashuvit


Our amusing version of a theme park is called 6 Flags Kentucky Kingdom.
Some genius in marketing came up with the idea to allow free admission and "front of the line" privileges for a day for any dinkus willing to eat a
3 inch...........
Yeah, sounds ok.
Madagascar...........
Please be a giant tootsie roll
Hissing................
OK, a hissing tootsie roll?
cockroach!
Um, ok.
Well thank you fear factor....That's just wrong, disgusting and foul. I refuse to eat anything that can survive a nuclear holocaust. If we could just get all the patrons to eat one....the "front of line privilege" concept would be screwed....but probably funny to watch. I am sure 100's of people will partake risking all self respect and dignity, but how bad could it be? They are fat free. Eh, just pretend your eating a White Castle.... With legs... and horns......the hissing, the spitting, putrid ooze filled....... Oh, wait it's exactly like eating a White Castle. Here is the funny part, like said, The challenge: Eat a live 3 inch Madagascar hissing cockroach and get free admission into KK with full line privileges. Some battle-hag from P.E.T.A. actually called Kentucky Kingdom and demanded the Marketing department be terminated and KK fined because this activity was cruel to the roach. Cruel to the roach. Cruel to the roach. That phrase is burning my brain! You have got to be kidding me! I guess I should turn my self in. As a kid I used to burn the shit out of anything crawling on the driveway with the sun and a magnifying glass. Hint: If you use a flashlight through the magnifying glass at night, bugs tend to stagger and smolder instead of just poofing into dust. If I was the husband of this woman I would fill my undies with concrete and jump off of a bridge. Ugh....If you are that desperate for something to do here's an assignment and a support group for you Ms. P.E.T.A. Find Cindy Sheehan assemble all the other jobless nutjobs in your circle of friends and discover S.H.U.V.I.T! Spinsters Having Ungodly Volumes of Inane Time.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

AWESOME!!! I can totally see you burning bugs as the dusk turned into night. So, how many people did eat the cockroach?

10:26 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Last year they had 200 roaches and within a short time had to rush out to get more......Makes you proud to be a Kentuckian doesn't it?

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Assbong? Oh, oh, the thought...

2:59 PM  

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